I will not suffer in shame

Since I was 12 years of age, I have suffered from a little known psychiatric illness, called BDD Body Dimorphic Disorder. It’s an image disorder, that affects the way the person suffering from it perceives them self. Many of us think we are monstrous looking and see some one in the mirror that no one else see’s. Both females and males of all ages can fall victim to BDD. The person affeced could be obsessed with their nose, hair, body, or any other part of them self.


In my case, I did not leave the house the entire summer after 5th grade, over my perceived appearance. My distortion left me to believe I had a hudge clown nose, big pores in my skin, and a ver longated fasce. I stayed locked in my dark room and always wore something to mask my face even from my own family. And if I uncovered my face it was to examing and pick my face for very large periods of time. I litterly left the house 4 times, in the whole summer break and 2/4 times I kept my face covered, with a large bandage or bandanna. When I entered into 6th I would apply HIDIOUS amounts of makeup and even hid my face the first day of school. I was surly the black sheep at the time, which made me worse. Attending school was very rare for me. I missed so much my grades dropped to straight F‘s. I even ended up into the Psychiatric hospital that year, for a few days.

When I started Jr. High, our family had moved out of are old town and I was starting in a new district. Though, I no longer masked my face or wore odd amounts of makeup, I was still VERY mentally unstable and anorexic, and was not able to stand staying in a school building all day. So, I allowed my self to go on a Digital Academy to heal. This was basically like home schooling, except I was doing my work through a computer. By the middle of 7th , my grades where increasing and by 8th I was getting A’s and B’s. During home schooling, I eventually joined a support group! I remember, being terrified around other teens and tweens, but they had treated me So nicely! There for, my mental stability, had become so much better I got involved in a local theatre for acting, which helped me gain enough confidence. Actually that was my start to going out in public EVERY day! Now, I’m back in school and am not doing to bad, actually GREAT. I still have bad days but I’m highly funcinable in society.

The reason I told my story on my blog, for everyone to see, is because…..
(1) I’m NOT ashamed of my psychiatric disorder.
(2) I’m NOT a mental case and I want people to know that
(3) Though, I just have a psychiatric disorder, I’m like every one else.

Recently and in the past Psychologist & teachers would tell me to HUSH my BDD. Saying its freaky and would weird people out. And if they treated me badly, it would not be there fault, because there scared of the unknown. I thought “Oh you poor babies! NOT!”

I have the right to not suffer in shame! And, Those with other psychiatric disorders such as depression, mania, Schzophrenia, or any thing else SHOULD not have to be ashamed, and I’m sorry but many lead these people to think they need to HIDE there problems, because they will be perceived as “NUTS” Well, they are not NUTs, there just sick, and are suffering very very badly. We are a group of people who’s rights seem to come last in today’s society. I say NO MORE!

To find out more about BDD go to
http://www.bddcentral.com/

Vegetarianism Again

When I was of age ten, I remember logging on to the internet and checking out http://www.peta.com/ every week. I wanted so badly to be LIKE those Peta activist. Other kids joined 4-H, cheerleading squads, soccer, baseball you name it. Yet, I yearned to join animal rights meetings to discuss resolving certain issues or a join protest. Unfortunately, that did not work out! Because, what parent would want there eleven/ten year old daughter to attend a protest? L At the time, I would always tell my mom, I’m going vegetarian and I don’t think she thought I would stay consistent, because she would always buy meats for me. But one day I said, “NO more MEAT I’m going vegetarian” and if my parents brought home meat, I ate everything but that. When my mom went to the grocery store I tagged along and would go grab Boca burgers from the case. I think after a month of this they got the picture. Hell, my mom even went vegetarian.

However, after a couple years of vegetarianism, I happened to become anorexic since I believed I was fat. My doctors, of course blamed the weight loss on my vegetarian ways, even though the other years I had been a normal weight and had gained height. I lost weight, because I simply did not eat all day. So, in order to not be pumped full off drugs and hospitalized, I went back to meat eating to satisfy them, and convince them I don’t want to be anorexic!

Now, I’m no longer a Jr. High aged anorexic and am now a healthy seventeen year old that finally decided to adopt my old ways of eating back, as well as start to do those other activism things I always dreamed of doing.

Cows are cool

When they are calves they are burned with hot irons (Branding). Also, there horns are cut off without painkillers. Slaughter cows are transported from one state to another and many die on the way to their next location. For more info on cattle factory farming go to
http://goveg.com/factoryFarming_cows.asp

Pigs Rule
These animals are supposed to be smarter then a three year old child. But, are confined to small pens there entire life.
http://goveg.com/factoryFarming_pigs.asp

And chickens & turkeys are adorable
And are probably one of the most abused animals. There beaks are cut off and they are cramed into tiny cages that they can barly move around in.

For info on chickens & turkets being raised on factory farms
http://goveg.com/factoryFarming_chickens.asp
http://goveg.com/factoryFarming_turkeys.asp

And check out http://goveg.com/vegetarian101.asp

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